


Wings

by vintagevalentinexx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:32:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9443039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintagevalentinexx/pseuds/vintagevalentinexx
Summary: This has been a labor of love.  It is the longest story that I have written to date and I have to say I’m quite proud of it.  I have had this Cas/Reader story in my head for such a long time and I’m so happy that I was finally able to get it out.Please let me know what you think!





	

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a labor of love. It is the longest story that I have written to date and I have to say I’m quite proud of it. I have had this Cas/Reader story in my head for such a long time and I’m so happy that I was finally able to get it out.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

**Wing** /wɪŋ/ noun: Any of a number of specialized paired appendages that enable some animals to fly, in particular.

* * *

You never really took into consideration how important some things were until they were gone, or even became damaged.  You could remember when you were eleven years old when you broke your arm.  You had to wear that stupid pink cast and that sling for nearly a month.  It was difficult getting dressed, bathing, eating, and you had to rely on other people for nearly everything.  Being the precocious, independent youngster that you were, it was difficult having to lean on other people to get things accomplished.  It was then that you realized how some parts of your body are like extensions of yourself (literally).  While by the end of the month you were figuring out how to get things done without the aid of one of your arms, you were certainly grateful to finally get the cast off.  That memory had stuck with you though.  It made you not take anything for granted, and it gave you compassion toward other people who may be going through a rough time.  

Which is why you could understand why Castiel was so upset and self-conscious about his wings.

* * *

You remember the first time you saw his wings.  He was a solider of Heaven; fierce and powerful and you watched with awe as he smote demon after demon as you lay incapacitated on the ground.  Your vision went in and out, but you could have sworn you saw a magnificent shadow, shaped in the form of wings, the span of which you had never seen before in any kind of animal.  As you lay bleeding out you saw bursts of light, the shadow of wings continuing to flicker against any wall they faced.  When it was finally over, you thought for a moment that you were going to pass on, but Castiel’s glowing blue eyes kept you awake, always in a trance-like state as he bent down, his gaze softening as he pressed two fingers to your forehead, murmuring something about trying to relax.

When you woke you were greeted by those same beautiful blue eyes, albeit not glowing now.  He was staring at you worriedly, his face showing signs of relief as you finally came to.

“You lost so much blood, (Y/N).”

“I…I’m…sorry?”

He looked at you bewildered, his lips forming into a small, shy smile.  “You are such a fascinating creature.”  With that, you heard the all too familiar flutter of wings as he left, a dopey smile on your face, visions of blue eyes unable to fade out of your mind as you fell back asleep.

* * *

It was a long time later when you were gifted with the opportunity of seeing Castiel’s wings again.  You were fighting side by side, something that was happening more frequently while Sam and Dean tried to find a cure for the Mark of Cain.  Castiel would take you on excursions to question rogue angels, trying to figure out where Metatron was hiding.  If there was anyone who knew, it might be him.  The both of you were nearly inseparable during that time.  You had watched him go through everything—losing his grace, being kicked out of the Bunker, learning about his “extracurricular” affair with April (which for some reason really rubbed you the wrong way), watching Dean turn into a demon, and finding the rest of his grace.  You had seen the toll all of these ordeals had done on him.  The once curious, awkward angel was now weary and jaded; the wonderment he once had about the world was gone.

Naturally this broke your heart.  You had longed for the shy smiles the angel seemed to save for only you, and you missed teaching him about the subtleties of human existence.  You wanted to speak up, but you found yourself having a difficult time knowing what to even say to Cas.   _Hey buddy, why so glum?  Hey there pal, I’ve noticed you’re not as awkwardly adorable as you used to be.  Yeah…that’s definitely not going to work._

You sighed, your mind shifting back to the fight you were currently in, Castiel by your side as you fought more demons.  You were thrown against a wall, crumbling into yourself as you saw the bright light again that you saw so very long ago.  You shielded your eyes, not wanting your eyeballs to melt out of your face, waiting for the blinding light to die down.  Finally you were away to uncover your face, seeing the faintest shadow of his wings.  You heard a gasp, realizing moments later that you were the person who made this noise, seeing the condition of his wings.  Several feathers were missing and currently falling off, the shadows of them fading into nothingness as they hit the ground.  You bit your lip, your heart sinking at how Castiel’s wings looked now.  He had been through so very much and it must have been tiring on his vessel and his grace.  You wondered if there were things that could not be healed by grace.

The flutter of wings signaled Castiel’s presence in front of you as he bent down.  You could see him staring tenderly at you.  “(Y/N)…I am sorry that you are always getting hurt while I’m around…I wish…I wish I could protect you better.”

You tried to smile, feeling his warm fingers going to your forehead, the pain and aches of the fight quickly dissipating.   “It’s okay, Cas…it’s part of the job.”  You put a hand on his bicep, feeling the muscle through his trenchcoat.  “I…I need to tell you something Cas.”

He looked at you inquisitively, tilting his head as he helped you up.  “What is the matter, (Y/N)?”

You fought to meet his eyes, nervous, hoping he wouldn’t be upset with you.  “Well…one of the first time we fought together…I saw your wings…and they were beautiful, enormous and they looked so powerful.”  You swallowed, trying to not look at his face, knowing there would be sorrow etched into his features.  “I saw them again today…they…they looked quite different.”

Castiel looked at you through his eyelashes, unspeaking, nodding as you continued.  “They were so different today.  Your wings…they looked damaged.”

“I have sacrificed many things for the betterment of humans, (Y/N).”

“I know you have, but at what cost, Cas?  What would I…er…we do without you around?  You are so very important.”

“I am but a soldier of Heaven…”

“You are one of us.  You are special to me, Cas.  And we need to get you better.  Please…please let me help you heal.”

**You made it your personal mission to help him heal.**

* * *

“I do not understand this at all, (Y/N)…”

You laughed as you plopped down on Sam’s bed, the only room in the Bunker that had Netflix.  That was something you’d definitely have to work on.  You continued to giggle as you watch Castiel try and sit on the bed in his trench coat, shoes still on.  You quirked an eyebrow.

“Seriously, Cas?  Shoes?  Your coat?  Both of them off.  Now.”

“I…but why?”

“Because…” you started, “if Sam finds out I let you sit on his bed with your shoes on, he will never let me watch Netflix again!  Now c’mon!”

You could have sworn you saw him roll his eyes as he finally plopped down next to you, smirking a little as you swayed on the bed from the force of him.  You clicked the TV on with the remote, the dim glow of the screen illuminating the room.

“Would you please explain to me again why this is necessary?”

You sighed, scrolling through the movies and shows on the home screen of Netflix, trying to find something you think that Castiel would like.  “It’s very necessary.  You need to heal.  You are so far done that you can’t heal yourself and you can’t even fly anywhere.  The ordeals you have been through have been very taxing on you, Cas…”

“Yes, I understand that, but why is this…” He motioned to the television, “needed?  Can’t I just lie here?”

It was your turn to roll your eyes.  “Technically no.  But it can be rather enjoyable!  All of these different movies on here all tell different stories of the human experience.  Some are sad, some are angry, some are absolutely hilarious.  The point is that you can step outside of yourself and focus on these stories instead of what you have going on.  It’s nice sometimes to be able to put it off for a while sometimes.”

Castiel nodded, smiling the small, shy smile you have started to adore as he stared intently at the screen, his smile growing larger as you click on a documentary about bees.  You slyly glanced at him, smiling at him fondly, his eyes excited as he watched the screen.   _What an adorable dork._

You couldn’t see it, but in the shadows of the room, Castiel’s wings twitched, less feathers fell from them as they started to subtly glitter and dance against the shadows.

* * *

“Just humor me.”

You sat in the library of the Bunker with Castiel, swinging your legs as you sat in a chair, nursing a mug of hot chocolate.  You pouted up at him, trying to give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster, taking another sip of your hot chocolate, unbeknownst to you, a bit of whipped cream resting on your upper lip.

Castiel chuckled as watched you.  As he stepped closer he bent down, taking a thumb to gently wipe your upper lip.  “You had something on your face.  (Y/N)…are you well?  You feel so warm?”

He tilted his head as he looked at you.  You pulled away from him harshly, trying to completely not look like a mess as he touched you.  “I’m…I’m fine, Cas.  It’s just the heat from the hot chocolate!”

He seemed to accept that as an answer as he finally took a seat next to you, a mug that was meant for him.  “What am I supposed to do with this, again?”

You beamed.  “You’re supposed to drink it!  It tastes so good!  Chocolate is amazing!”  You giggled as you watched him eye the steaming mug suspiciously.

“When I consume anything, I can only taste the molecules, (Y/N).  As ‘amazing’ as your hot chocolate sounds, I will not be able to taste it.”

You looked at him sheepishly, hanging your head as you realize your mistake.  “Oh, right.  I’m sorry, Cas.  I should have realized.  That was really stupid of me.”  You chewed on your lip; picking at your fingernails as you looked down, feeling terrible.  You just wanted to make him happy and try to cheer him up a little bit.  

Your head snapped up as you heard the scrape of a chair moving closer to yours.  His chair was butted right alongside yours, armrests flush with each other.  Cas picked up your mug from the table, handing it back to you.  “Please don’t apologize, (Y/N).  Maybe it will taste like something.  I should not have said anything until I tried it.”

Smiling, you took your mug, clanking it with Castiel’s as you both took a sip out of your respectful mugs, you smiling, your face scrunching up as you tasted the warm hot chocolate; Castiel’s’ face scrunching up in disgust as he sipped.

“This is still terrible.”

You giggled softly, shifting as you leaned your head on his shoulder, your toes wiggling in your thick woolen socks as you enjoyed the quiet with Castiel.

Just out of your line of sight, Castiel’s wings were unfurled, yet still fairly barren.  Despite this, his wings did not shed a single feather now, yet still hung rather limp.

* * *

Of course the heat wasn’t working properly in the Bunker.  That seemed to be right on par with the day you were having.  You stubbed your toe nearly as soon as you stepped out of your bed this morning, you shrunk your favorite t-shirt in the wash, there wasn’t any coffee left, and Dean ate all the damn pop tarts.  You huffed as you nestled yourself down on the couch, cocooning yourself in several blankets, getting comfy.  You turned on the tv, trying to keep warm.  Hopefully the boys would be back soon to fix the damn furnace.

Unbeknownst to you, Castiel had popped into the Bunker to check up on you, find you fast asleep on the couch.  He smiled softly as he watching you for a while, bundled up in all the blankets.  He watched you for a little while longer, a frown etching onto his mouth as he realized you were still shivering under all of those blankets.  He crouched down, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand, trying to rouse you from sleep.

“(Y/N)…(Y/N)…please wake up…”  
You shifted, your eyes fluttering open slowly to be met by the most beautiful blue ones you had ever had the pleasure to see.  A smile crept its way onto your lips as you groggily answered him.

“Hey, Cas.  Everything okay?”

His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to watch you shiver.  “You are cold, (Y/N).”

You smiled self-consciously at him, averting your eyes.  “Yeah…the heating seems to be on the fritz so I’ve been trying to stay warm…”

Before you could even speak Castiel was moving around the blankets to get into them next to you, not realizing that you were a blushing mess.  It was enough to make you blush to just be near to him, but cuddling under blankets was probably going to kill you.

“Your heart is beating rather fast, (Y/N).  Perhaps I should move closer to try and give you some of this vessel’s warmth.”

You couldn’t even speak as you felt him wrap an arm around you, the heat in your cheeks intensifying.  The both of you sat there for a while, and you found yourself unconsciously moving closer to him as the warmth from his body seeped into yours.  You found yourself dozing off, your head finally lulling onto his shoulder.  Castiel smiles down at you, giving you a firm squeeze as he aimlessly watches whatever is on the television.

He doesn’t know it, but the limpness in his wings is significantly less now, returning to the strength they once were.  The shadows of his wings trembled in the shadows against the walls, the light from the television creating beautiful shapes against the shadows of his wings.

* * *

“It is merely a visible mass of condensed water vapor floating in the atmosphere.  I don’t see what is so important about that.”

You sighed, flopping over onto your side, leaning up on an elbow to stare at the angel.  It was a beautiful spring day, and while the sky wasn’t completely cloudless, the beautiful puffy, tufts of white crawling their way through the sky.  Although you had seen many beautiful days, it was nice to be able to spend a moment alone with Castiel.

**Castiel.**

If anyone reminded you of a beautiful, blue, sunny day, it was him.  You were currently trying your best to not stare for too long at him; he was more observant than he let most people realize.  When he smiled, actually, genuinely smiled, it was as if the sun was warming your skin, the heat intensifying when that smile was directed your way.  His eyes were more captivating that anything you had ever gazed upon; the most beautiful shade of blue that you could ever imagine.  You found yourself growing fonder of him as the days passed and as you spent more and more time with the angel.  He was becoming a facet in your life; a piece of your heart that you did not want to give up.

“(Y/N)…(Y/N)…is something wrong with my face?  Are you alright?”

You jerked your head, your nose colliding with Castiel’s forehead; apparently he was much closer now, but you would know that if you weren’t daydreaming.  Your hand immediately went to your face, the crunch of the blow making your eyes water, trying to keep composure.  Castiel was immediately pulling you up, making you move your hand, his eyes full of concern.  He pressed two fingers to your forehead, the warm of his grace flowing through you, healing your nose as if nothing had ever happened.  He held you by your shoulders, leaning in close.

“Please forgive me, (Y/N).  I am so very sorry that I hurt you…I would never want to hurt you.”

You smiled, wiggling your nose.  “See…it’s as good as new.  I promise I’m not mad…”

Castiel continued to look at you like a scolded puppy and you couldn’t help but giggle, his concern for you warming your heart.

“I tell you what.  If you can tell me what that cloud looks like we can call it even.”  
He rolled his eyes, still not understanding why you would want to do such a trivial thing.  He plopped back down on the ground, taking you with him at his side.  His eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought, turning his head to pout at you as you giggled softly at his ‘thinking face’.

“That one there…it seems to resemble the shape of a bee…”

Castiel smiled at you, your lips moving of their own accord to match his grin.  The both of you laid there until the sun hung low in the sky, your eyes growing heavy as you fell into a comfortable, warm sleep.  Castiel brushed the hair out of your face, pressing the softest whisper of a kiss at your hairline, smiling down at you.

You snuggled closer to the warmth of him, the warm spring wind blowing gently, caressing your skin.  Little did you know that Castiel’s wings were flexing and flapping gently, stretching the muscles, creating the breeze you felt.  Feathers no longer fell from his wings.  New fluffy, downy feathers grew in the empty spaces, maturing into the longer, outer layer that so desperately needed to be replaced.

* * *

The power had gone out in the Bunker.  Well…not really, but you had turned out all of the lights, your flashlight leading Castiel and you through the hallways.

“(Y/N)…now you’re really confusing me.  This seems extremely unnecessary.  Can’t we just turn all the lights back on and get on with our lives?”

All you did was grin at him as you dragged him to your room, flashlights and candles flicking in the space.  You could see Castiel smiling fondly at your work, his lips curling up into a warm smile as he looked at your creation in the center of the room.  “Did you collect all of the blankets and pillows in the Bunker to create that…umm…”

“Fort.  It’s a fort, Cas.  It’s a blanket fort!  C’mon!”

You dragged him under and into the fort, where more lights and candles illuminated it (good thing you had an angel with you for assistance if you started a fire with all these candles).  After the both of you got settled amongst the blankets and pillows, you set your flashlight aside, the soft light illuminating both of your faces.  You shuffled closer to Castiel, sitting shoulder to shoulder as you wiggled your sock-clad toes.

“Tell me something about yourself, Cas.”

He looked at you confused.  “I don’t understand…”

You smiled, “I want to know more about you, the things you like, what you were like when you were younger…wait…were you ever younger?  Were angels ever babies?!  Please tell me there are such things as angel babies!!”

Castiel openly laughed, noting the flush in your cheeks as his hand “accidentally” brushed against yours.

“I think I understand what you mean now, (Y/N).  Perhaps you should go first.”

You nodded, pondering about what you wanted to tell him.  “Well…when I was little I always used to love camping in the backyard when it was warm enough.  One summer, it seemed to rain every night so I wasn’t able to spend the night outside.  My parents had the amazing idea to create a blanket fort inside so we could spend the night camping in the house.  We gathered up all the blankets and pillows in the house and made the most amazing fort ever.  We stayed up all night telling stories to each other.  It’s the fondest memory I have of them.”

Castiel smiled, taking your hand into his, giving it a firm squeeze.  “Thank you for sharing that with me.  It’s a beautiful memory.”

You smiled back at him, your hand still firmly planted in his.  “Alright, it’s your turn.”

Castiel let go of your hand, causing you to pout momentarily, your frown quickly being replaced with a shy smile as his arm found its way around your shoulders, pulling you into his side, engulfing you in his warmth.  

“When the Earth was new, I enjoyed the time when the animals and all of the creatures were being created.  I was marveled at how each creature is such a masterpiece.  God even let some of the angels help create some of the animals…the platypus for example…one of Gabriel’s creations…”

“No way…you’re making this up!”  You laughed, your head finding its way onto his shoulder.  

He chuckled.  “He also had a lot of input on the giraffe…”  He paused for a moment, turning his head to smile down at you on his shoulder.  

“But my fondest memory…that would be…that would have to be several things, (Y/N).  I suppose it could be summed up as one thing, though.  The first time I saw you smile is probably the fondest memory that I have in all of my years…”

You looked up at him, steeling yourself as you bent upward, pressing your lips to his.  The kiss wasn’t overly passionate; it was sweet, and it spoke volumes for you, everything you wanted to say to him at that moment but were unable to say.

The empty spaces on Castiel’s wings were completed filled in now, the strength slowly but surely still coming back to them.  They started to unfurl much more effectively.

* * *

“Can you please explain this to me again?”

You pumped your legs as you glided through the air, swinging back and forth on the swing set, the breeze blowing through your hair.  You grinned at you turned your head, watching him move his legs, and unsuccessfully swing.  Hopping off of the swing mid-air, you made your way over to Castiel’s swing, standing behind him.

“You need to push yourself off first to get the momentum going, Cas.”

“I do not understand.”

“Here, lift your feet off the ground…”

You grabbed the chains, pulling the swing back as the bewildered angel looked back at you.  You let go of the chain, pushing him forward.  “Go ahead now, Cas.  Move your legs!”

You watched on as he pumped his legs like you showed him, the swing going higher and higher.  Hopping back on your own swing, you went back to the wonderful task of flying through the air on your swing, completely oblivious to whatever Castiel was doing.  You continued on for a while before all of a sudden your swing stopped abruptly, your back met with a solid wall of muscle.  You let out an audible “oof” as you craned your neck around to look up at Castiel.  “What are you doing, Cas?”

“Something I should have done a long time ago.”

He moved around, now facing you as he grabbed the chains of your swing, he pulled you forward, pulling you up to him as his lips finally found yours, kissing you like you had wanted him to for such a long time.  Your hands found their way to his face, cupping his cheeks, completely trusting in the fact that his angelic strength would keep you locked in that position for as long as Castiel so desired.  

There was now a shimmer to Castiel’s wings, as if his grace was pumping through them.  Their strength was just about back to full power; nearly completely healed.

* * *

This night could not have been any more perfect.  You were alone with Castiel; the both of you had the motel room to yourselves for the night while Sam and Dean did some reconnaissance of a warehouse where they believed a nest of vampires were staying.  Castiel held you in his arms, swaying the both of you to the faint music on the radio.  You snuggled into his chest, letting him move you to the music, breathing him in.  You murmured softly, “I can’t remember a time where I was ever so happy, Cas.  You are so incredibly important to me and I feel so deeply for you.”

Castiel halted your movements, taking both of your hands into his own, pressing them to his lips.  

“Ever since I’ve been with the Winchesters, I have felt as though I have straddled both Heaven and Earth; no longer belonging to either place.  It has been a feeling I have been struggling with for years.  Spending this time with you has taught me that although I do not belong to either place, all I need is to belong to you, and that keeps me sated.  I feel whole because you feel like home.”

You looked up at him, tears welling up in your eyes as you reached up to kiss him, putting everything that you are into his lips, your arms wrapping around him, your body pressed flushed against his.  “Cas…I don’t even know what to say right now…”

“Then don’t.  Just feel with me.  Be at home with me, (Y/N).”

Castiel’s wings, now fully healed wrapped around you, shielding you from potential dangers and keep you close to him.  You couldn’t see them, but it was as though you felt a blanket of comfort and warmth draped around you.

* * *

That was the most important, most beautiful memory you had.  They say when you are about to die, your most important memories replay in your mind.  Your mind kept showing you memories of the time you had spent with Castiel everything from simple little moments, up until the moment you knew that the both of you loved each other.

The demons tortured you relentlessly, trying to get a location of the Winchesters out of you.  Naturally you didn’t tell them a single thing, which obviously pissed them off.  They beat you down, leaving you within mere moments of death, your vision blurring, fingers growing cold.  All you could think of was Castiel, his blue eyes burned into your memory.  

As if out of nowhere, a near-blinding white light filled the room in which you were being held, the force of it almost painful.  You struggled to close your eyes, worried that you may not be able to open them again.  You could see the magnificent form of wings, full and lush, against one of the back walls.  It took a while for your eyes to focus, but as they do, you see blue, nearly crying as you see the beautiful eyes of your lover.

Without a word he smites them all, quickly coming to your aid, his gaze becoming pained as he takes in your pitiful state.  His voice is strained as he speaks.  “Please forgive me for not getting here sooner…”

Castiel pressed his lips to your forehead, his grace flowing into you, healing you, bringing you back from the brink of death.  He literally kissed away your wounds, gathering you up into his arms.  You looked up at him, your beautiful, brave, selfless angel and you smiled, feeling so very grateful that you did not have to part with him yet; you were blessed with more time with him, precious time that you would never take for granted.

“I love you, Castiel.”

“There is nothing more precious to me in the entirety of existence than you, (Y/N).  ‘I love you’ does not have enough depth to describe what I feel for you.”

You smiled, arms wrapping around his neck.  “I saw them, you know.  Your wings…well at least what my eyes would allow me to see.  They looked amazing!  When I first saw them, they were…well…nearly bare.  But now…they are glorious!”

He smiled down at you thoughtfully.  “Yes, they are completely healed.  I never imagined that they would be returned to their unblemished state, knowing the condition that they were in.  However, it seems that spending time with you has healed them, healed me.  I will spend the rest of eternity taking care of you.  But first…I think we will need to make sure you are completely healed.”

**You kissed him, feeling content, knowing that you were finally home as well.**


End file.
